How do I tell my lover he has hurt me by being insensitive, impatient, unreassuring without pushing him away?
Question by jukinblues: How do I tell my lover he has hurt me by being insensitive, impatient, unreassuring without pushing him away?
BF & I have been together 2 mnths. I’m 34; he’s 60. We live 100 miles away, see each other every other week for movie & dinner. He’s a sweetheart: opens car doors, helps with jacket, makes seductive comments. 1st time intimate he was stressed about job & had a physical next day. I was patient. He offered to take Viagra but I reassured him. We did not have lube. I’ve had sex but am VERY tight. Next day I got lube & left at his house. 2nd time a couple weeks later, I asked for lube. Said I was making him jump through hoops & he never had to do that w/a woman—lots of experience but no sex for a while. I thought it would also be nice foreplay. He had billed himself as a lover who liked it slow & easy. I did oral on him & tried more, but his girth is thick. I began on top, good for me, but he couldn’t find the right spot. In missionary he couldn’t get it in. Another flippant comment about me being like a virgin. Finished with me manually stimulating him. No oral for me. No manual. Nothing.
The first time we were intimate he also wore his watch, which I think is silly. I didn’t say anything about it. The second time, I wore socks because my feet were cold. He said insensitively, “Take off those goofy socks.”
I’ve had problems taking birth control because of health reasons, but he doesn’t like condoms also because of the lack of spontaneity, he says.
Again, when we go out to dinner or a movie, we have wonderful conversations about literature and film, two shared interests, and he’s so sweet and kind. It’s mainly when we’ve been intimate that he seems insensitive.
I have no idea about his bankroll. I am attracted to him because of our wonderful discussions and an enigmatic quality that he possesses. We are both sort of reclusive and have the same political inclinations. He is also from my hometown, so we know a lot of the same people.
Best answer:
Answer by pastels c
you sound like you are looking for a love machine
this guy is not the one
move on to the next machine
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