What do you think so far? Comments?

Question by troubled flower: What do you think so far? Comments?
Any comments?? part of the 1st chapter… It’s not spaced out in 1 big paragraph… it just hapened wen i pasted it

It was silent as we both started rummaging through our lockers for our Algebra 1 books. Right after I shut my locker, Mason dropped his books. “Shit! I hate when that happens.” He said sounding embarrassed and annoyed. We gathered up his books and practically ran to Mr. Finnegan’s room. Thankfully Mr. F is awesome and let our being late, pass since it was Mason’s first day.
Mason took a seat next to me as Mr. Finnegan went on with teaching the class. I was trying to figure out what Mr. F was talking about when Mason passed me a note saying. ‘Do you get what Mr. F’s saying, at all? Cause’ I don’t.’ I wrote back ‘No and most I the time I don’t. I really hate Algebra.’ And I put a face with its tongue sticking out. We kept passing notes until the bell rang, when Mason got up and passed my desk and put the note on it. As I reread it I started to laugh. Our conversation had gone from Algebra to The Bean to all our friends and to what movies we like. I have no idea how we fit all of that information on one piece of theme paper and in less than an hour.
I got up and started toward my locker. Thankfully next was my free period, so I could leave school if I wanted to because it was my last class of the day. I was trying to decide if I should head over to The Bean now or wait for my friends to be done class, when I looked up to see Mason standing beside my locker.
I opened my locker and started putting my books back as I said “Hey Mason. Do you need help finding your next class, or anything?”
I had finished putting my books back and had closed my locker when Mason answered me “No, actually my schedule says I have Free Period next, and Aubrey said that’s what you have too. So I thought we could hang out ‘till everyone’s done or something.”
“Okay, that sounds good. So do you wanna head over to The Bean or wait here for everyone

else? The Bean’s like 2 ½ blocks away so we could just walk, if you want to.”

“Yea. Let’s head over to The Bean. I just have to call my mom and tell her I’m not coming home after school. She might freak if I’m not home, especially on the first day.”
As Mason was calling his mom I got a piece of paper and a pen out of my purse. I wrote:
Rachel, Me and Mason headed over to The Bean early, because we had Free Period. C u there. Love You 
-Lexi
As I was finishing writing the note Mason looked up and said “What’s that for?”
“I want to make sure everyone isn’t waiting around for us so they can go when we’re already there.”
“Why didn’t you just text them?”
“Well, Reed got his phone taken away, Wyett and Kayla always lose there’s, Rachel always leaves her sound on and Aubrey’s purse eats hers and it takes her forever to find.”
“Ohhh.” He said laughing, as we started down the hall towards Rachel’s locker which was a little way down the hall and off to the right. We got to the locker and I slipped the note in through the slit in the locker.
We kept going down the hall towards the front doors when Mr. Finnegan came running out of his classroom saying “Alexa, go get the nurse! Wyett’s having an asthma attack.”
I was about to go sprinting down the other direction of the hallway towards the nurses room when Mason’s voice stopped me “Lexi, wait! Here Mr. F Wyett can use my inhaler. I have it right here.” He said pulling his inhaler out of his pocket and handing it to Mr. F. Right as it reached Mr. Finnegan’s hand he ran back into the classroom, with us right behind him. I didn’t pay attention to any the terrified faces and sobs of the scared kids in the class except for Wyett who was on the ground gasping for air and Kayla who was crouched by his side with tears in her eyes. I heard her whisper something like “You’re going to be okay. It’s all going to be fine, just stay with me Wyett.” Over and over to him.
Mr. Finnegan ran to his side and put the inhaler up to Wyett’s face. After Mr. F gave him a few squirts of the medicine Wyett was sitting up coughing and trying to catch his breath. I saw Kayla hug him, and they both started to cry. If it wasn’t for Mason holding my arm I think I would’ve fell over. When I felt I could stand without toppling over I went and joined Kayla and Wyett in their hug. And immediately began sobbing. Once we all got a hold of ourselves Mr. Finnegan told Me, Kayla, and Mason to help Wyett get to the nurses office and call his mom, as quickly as possible.

By then we we’re all standing up and looking around at the class. Everyone had tears in their eyes. All the girls were crying, even a lot of the guys’ were too. As we headed out of the classroom everyone we passed was saying things like “You scared the shit out of me Wyett.” Or “I’m glad you’re okay.” And “Please remember your inhaler I think I might yell at you if you don’t.”
the stared out word is not the F word…. if thts wat it looks like.

Best answer:

Answer by MissPink
That’s so weird, my character’s name is Lexi too!
I also think that you should tone down the swearing if you actually want to get it published.
Answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiuOpo6HwWK4FmVrHSoqmFOf5HNG;_ylv=3?qid=20100706200623AAaWXao

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